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How can you lessen the blow of divorce for your kids?

On Behalf of | May 9, 2022 | Family Law

One of your biggest concerns may be how your children take the news when preparing for a divorce.

According to Huffington Post, you should be honest with your kids but gentle.

Approach your kids as a team

While the family is changing, your kids need to know that you are still a family. If you and your spouse can come together to discuss the breakup with your kids, it softens the blow. It helps your kids see that you and their other parents can still act amicably for them. In addition to easing them into the idea of divorce, you also set a good example for healthy relationships.

Speak simply and honestly

How you explain the breakup depends on the age of your children. Toddlers, for example, do not need a lot of information. They have difficulties understanding complex emotions, so you should stick to simple, honest language that they can understand. Do not use metaphors or vague language.

With older kids and teenagers, you can provide more information. However, be careful not to make them feel like they have to pick sides. You can set boundaries on what you and your ex feel comfortable sharing. In the case of a betrayal, many parents choose not to explain the reasons in detail.

Accept your children’s feelings

Most children will react negatively to the idea of their parents splitting up. Try to keep your own emotions to a minimum and let them know that your job is to comfort them and not the other way around. Some kids react with confusion, fear, anger and hurt. Focus on stability rather than trying to change how your child feels. Reassure them that they can feel any way they need to. Most young kids need a lot of reassurance.